It's about damn time...

So, after 3 months of living with my in-laws, it looks like the house will finally. FINALLY. be finished. We are set to move our odds and ends, the dogs, and K's grandfather over on Sunday. My fingers are crossed so damn hard that it doesn't get pushed back again. As much as I love my in-laws, you can really only spend so much time under the same roof with them. I think 3 months qualifies as more than enough time.

It was our anniversary on the 19th. Married for a year, and happy we made it. There were definitely times he had me ready to strangle him. I'm sure he felt the same way. But we made it through, and had a nice start to year number two. Munchkin 2.0 will be here the end of June! Yup!

This was our last cycle before we went in for testing. We're excited, and planning on telling everyone over Christmas. So, that's all the current news. Not much else to share right now. I'll be back in a few months. ;)

Limbo

In many, many ways. Today started CD1 of cycle... 9? Month 14-15. It sucks. I'm slowly creeping into "this isn't happening for us" mode. We really don't have the resources to pursue testing, now that I have a new insurance with a higher deductible, etc etc etc. It sucks. It really, really sucks. So many people announcing pregnancies, so many people pregnant at my employer, and I'm smiling, when inside I just want to cry.

 I don't think K really realizes how long we've been trying, nor how much it bothers me. To him, it just hasn't happened yet, but it will. "When it's supposed to." Well, I'm sorry, but it should have happened already, in my opinion. I know there are women out there who've been trying longer. I know there are women out there who aren't going to have any children at all. I love my daughter deeply, and am blessed to have her. It doesn't make the pain of trying each cycle, and failing, any less.

I have my annual in about two weeks (go figure, it was scheduled for today and my period shows). I'll be talking to my doctor, and going from there to see what we will do. Maybe I'll call insurance and find out how much we're looking at. I just don't know. We're in limbo where baby #2 is concerned. I have a crib broken down in a closet, a swing Keith doesn't wan to get rid of, a bedding set that I fell in love with and had to have. But no baby to use it. Ugh.

To make matters more fun, we're back living with K's family for a few months. We're still in the process of fixing up his grandparents' home, and we're so close to being done. We're just still not. I hope it will only be a few more weeks. Like, a couple. But who knows anymore? The house is almost completely set up, except for trash and odds and ends. We just need to finish the bathrooms. Anymore, though, I just don't give a crap. I'm burned out. I'm pretty sure I'm getting depressed. All I want to do is sit down somewhere, in a corner, and cry. It sucks, and I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to.

Oh well. Off to work I go, I guess.

Supposedly holding off

So, as of CD1, we're supposed to be on hold for a cycle or two. Or three, depending on WTF my body decides to do. I got a new job, that I start July 8th, and FMLA and all that crap says I should wait until I've been there for a year to go on maternity leave. We'll probably just wing it, and because we shouldn't get pregnant, luck has it that we will.

We're also in the process of finishing up getting the new house together to move. Looks like we'll be moving the last weekend in July. It's going to be a busy month for us, but we'll manage. We're almost done painting the house, and in a week or two, will be building a deck onto the back. We also need to redo the bathroom floor and put a new toilet in; that project will be getting started on Thursday.

C seems to be handling things so well, so far. I'm curious how she'll do once I switch to the new job, and how she'll handle the move. The house stuff shouldn't go too badly. She's used to being at the new house, and hanging out there. The job change might be a bit much for her, though.  It's a second shift position, so she'll have Daddy at night and Mommy during the day. It'll be like being a newborn all over again for her! Sort of.

So, as far as TTC. Like I said, we'll be "holding off" for a cycle or two. Come January, we'll switch insurance plans, then pursue testing if I'm still not pregnant. Hopefully, we won't need to go down that road. Neither of us really wants to; who does?

Oh, and because of the new job, I cancelled my doctor's appointment. For obvious reasons.

I Told You So

I told you I was a horrible blogger. Said it from the beginning. I didn't think it had been that long since I posted. Turned out, it's been almost 2 months. I'm still here, trucking along, trying to get knocked up with #2 by my husband. We hit the 1 year mark next month. Fun fun? No, not really.

Things have been hectic over the past couple of months. Started my latest cycle. Had a mini breakdown, knowing that I wouldn't have a chance at ovulation again before that one year mark. Flipped out on my husband because of the lack of sex we've had. I have an appointment for my annual next month, and will be talking to my doctor then, to see where we go from here. The hubby has agreed to a spermal analysis, to see if the issue is him or me, so I guess we'll start there.

As far as the regular, everyday life we live? Our "baby" will be 2 in two weeks. I can't figure out where the last two years have gone, that my baby is growing up so much. She jammed out on her piano today with her own rendition of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." It was the cutest thing ever. I loved it.

We'll be getting ready to move in the new 2 months. August 1st, we'll be moving into my husband's grandparents' house. His grandmother passed away, unexpectedly, about a month ago. We'll be moving into the house, and helping to take care of his grandfather until he's ready to go to a home, or passes away. At some point, we'll be buying the house, just not sure when. We still have credit issues and such to take care of before we can be approved for a mortgage. It will be a long road ahead of us in that regard, but we shall see what happens.

In the mean time, I'll try to update more. Like I said before, I'm not promising much. I'm a horrible blogger.

Oops

So. I'm a horrible blogger. I think I may have stated that somewhere in one of my first posts. I wish I could say that things have been busy around here, but they haven't. I actually had plenty of free time last week to write (type?), but I just didn't take it.

Why free time? My husband and daughter both caught some nasty bug that I have (thankfully) been able to avoid so far. It resulted in nasty aches and pains with a fever for them. You would have thought that my husband was dying with how bad he reacted. He was in bed from Monday night until Friday morning, except for an hour or two he spent on the couch. I stayed home Tuesday to care for him and C, but he wanted me to come home Wednesday and Thursday to take care of him, too. What a wuss.

Other than that, nothing much has been going on around here. We got a new TV. Went from a 32" to a 46" and it looks great. The quality is amazing, and you would think it was a 3D TV with the way the clarity and depth is. So... that's about all that's been happening around here lately. I may update in a week, or I may not.

Oh, yeah, still not pregnant. Haven't even ovulated yet. I may, eventually. If my body decides to do what it's supposed to.

TGIF?

Well, kinda of not really. My house is a wreck. I really should try and clean tomorrow, but I don't want to. The hubby and I plan on doing a deep clean of the house in two weeks (I work every other weekend), so I will probably just wait until then.  

We have a birthday party to go to tomorrow for Keith's niece and nephew (they were born a few days apart) and I really don't want to go. His sister, for the most part, hates me, and her kids are spoiled brats who basically get to do whatever they want. Nope, not looking forward to it at all. Add in the fact that the left side of my face is breaking out like crazy, and I'd really prefer to just hide in my house all weekend.

On the TTC end of things - I'm starting down the long end of my cycle and wondering, out of curiosity, if going back on birth control would help shorten my cycles when I go back off it. When I was on Implanon, I didn't have a period at all, and I feel like maybe that messed up my body and its cycles, like my body forgot that it is supposed to adjust hormones throughout my cycle.  Or it could be that I've put on weight since I had DD and started sitting at a desk all day.

The one-year mark resetting wouldn't bother me, as I already planned on continuing trying to pregnant on my own with Keith, rather than visiting an RE for testing past the one year mark. I'm kind of torn about what to do. My body regulated fairly quickly off the pill the last time I was on it; I was pregnant with C within 3 months, even if it was an accident. It may be worth discussing with my doctor, though. Maybe? I don't know...

Random Rambling

I'm sitting here, bored out of my mind, as Keith plays Xbox 360. I'm listening to the random outbursts of people who are playing the game with him (he is playing live), and it seems like he finds his way into a different sort of "special" conversation each night. So, while he does that, I'm going to blog a bit.

We're due for a snow storm tomorrow. Maybe. Supposedly. None of the meteorologists really know what it's going to do in our area, and we're in a block that could get anywhere from 3-10+ inches. It all depends, literally, on how the wind decides to blow. I work 30 miles away from home, so am debating whether or not to try and make it into work. Do I need to go in (as in, does work need me)? No, not really. We're so caught up on work, we're pretty much running out. However, if I don't go in, I get a "point". If I do go in, it puts me one day closer to no absences for this block of time, and I get a bonus. Is my safety really worth $100? No, not really, but I'd feel like a moron if I stayed home and nothing happened. Decisions, decisions...

Now, onto the trying to get knocked up segment of this post. I'm hanging out here, on CD6, staring down at my chart and feeling depressed over the fact it will probably be another month before I ovulate. These long cycles really suck, and I hate feeling like it's going to be forever before it happens. I didn't ovulate until CD 40-something last cycle. It's a pain in the ass. Keith wants to stop "trying" this month (as in no temping, no OPKs, just having sex).  That's all fine and good, except I would be driving myself crazy, constantly peeing on HPTs only to see a BFN because I hadn't ovulated yet. So, I'm going to continue to temp and test, but we're not going to time sex. We're just going to HIO like we normally would. Should be fun, right? We'll see...

My Journy Thus Far

I'll probably write more often in this thing as I start out, to get anyone who decides to read through up to speed with the who, what, where, why, etc of my TTC journey. Once I feel like everything's fairly up to date, posts will probably taper off a bit. So, today's post, is about my journey so far in trying to get knocked up with #2. This post, like many others, are going to be filled with some TMI, but well, you're reading a blog about trying to get pregnant, what do you expect?

Originally, when our daughter was first born, K and I decided that we were going to wait until she was about 3 to try for #2, so I had the Implanon birth control implant inserted around 3 months post-partum with C (Sept 2011). Around Janury 2012, he and I started talking about having #2 earlier rather than later, and decided to wait until C turned 1, simply because I was changing jobs and my new insurance policy wouldn't kick in until June of 2012, which just happened to co-inside with C's birthday, and would have put me at my new job long enough to qualify for FMLA and STD when I was ready to have said baby. So, Implanon was removed June 18, 2012.

Prior to getting pregnant with C, I had approximately 34-40 day cycles. Not having taken the time to properly learn about my body, and how it could take time to regulate post-Implanon, CD 35 came and went in July. I pee'd on sticks almost daily for two weeks until I got my period. Next cycle, the same thing happened. CD 35 came and went, I swore I was pregnant, and two weeks later, my period came.  Sept 2012, I finally realized that my cycles weren't 35ish days anymore, but had extended to more like 50 days. Ok, no big deal. We adjusted our timing for sex accordingly.

When my period was due in November, I started spotting. Put my tampon in that Friday night, fully expecting  CD#1 when I woke up. Got up, tampon was empty. Spotted off and on all day, but never got my period. Saturday night, I bought a pregnancy test. BFP! Awesome and amazing! I went to bed with cramping that night, which was worse when I woke up Sunday morning. I tested again, another BFP, but by that afternoon, my cramps had gotten severely worse, and I was starting to bleed more than spot.

Throughout the day, I began to pass clumps and large clots. By early afternoon, my cramping had pretty much died down to normal period-like cramps, and I was able to be functional. Another HPT and BFN. Internet research told me that I'd had a chemical pregnancy.

It was at this time that I returned to an on-line community called The Bump that I had often visited during my pregnancy with C, and through her early months before migrating to the Facebook page of my birth month group. I migrated to the Trying To Get Pregnant board, and thanks to the ladies there, I began to learn even more about my body. Because of this forum, I was introduced to Fertility Friend, which helps me to more accurately track my cycles and figure out what my body is doing, when to call the doctor (if I were to need to), and what mistakes not to make.

They've been lifesavers the past two cycles, especially this longest one. I didn't drive myself near as crazy peeing on sticks as I would have, and have probably saved me a couple dollars in HPTs, and they provided a supportive and sympathetic ear during my CP, answering stupid questions. I've made some great friends on the site, and I'm sure a few "enemies," or at the very least there are ladies on there who don't like me. Some days it's like being back in high school, and drives me batty, but at the end of the day, we're all out for the common goal, we all want a new baby to bring home into our lives.

Hopefully, I'll be able to move onto the trimester pages of The Bump soon, but if not, I know I'm kept in good company of a knowledgeable group of women who will snark the stupid out of me when it appears, or provide sympathy if I were to need it again...

Blog Challenge - One Year From Now

You will have to forgive any typos on this blog, as it's coming from mobile. I will try to correct any that I see, but I'm not perfect. :P

This was technically supposed to be done yesterday, but I didn't want to feel like a complete post whore by making two blog posts in the same day. My good friend, Tamma (see her WOW family blog to the side) decided to start up a challenge and I am one of those who accepted it. So... Here goes... This week's challenge is:

Other than KTFU or have a newborn, where do you want your life to be a year from today?

In one year, I would like to see myself working our way to debt free and buying our own home. It's a crap shoot at the best, but we would really like to get our debt paid off sooner than it will probably take us. I want to have another chinchilla, but that is looking more and more like an inconceivable notion as more and more time/energy/resources get pooled into our fish tanks. I would like for either my husband or I to have found a better job than we already have, making more money, or our bosses to stop stepping on us and overlooking us and taking advantage of us (moreso him than me). For the most part, though, I am happy where we are. Things could always be a little bit better, but we are well aware they could also be very worse.

Well Hi There...

So, after 8 months of trying to get knocked up by my husband, I finally decided to dive into the world of blogging. I used to do it a bit in high school, and it was a nice place to vent and get frustrations out, so here's to hoping that this offers the same sort of solace that blogging as a teenager did; besides, all the cool kids are doing it. Peer pressure and some shit like that, right?

Oh, a little about me? Well, I'm Ashley. I've been married to a pretty great guy for a few months now, and we have an awesome little monster together, who I will kindly refer to as "C" for the duration of this. She'll be two in a few months. Yeah, we did things slightly ass backwards, and she was admittedly an "oops" but the best "oops" we could have made. We also have two crazy huskies, a senile old basset hound mix, three neurotic cats, and three amazingly stressful, yet stress-relieving, fish tanks.

In the spare time that my husband and I don't have, we enjoy taking our Jeep off road. We've met some great friends on our rock-crawling and mud-slinging adventures, and absolutely love doing it in our spare time. We can't wait until C is old enough to enjoy it with us. She's been in a few smaller and lighter trips; we won't take her on those until she's a bit older.

I'm 24, and my husband, Keith, is 28. We started dating in June of 2009, moved in together in June of 2010, and brought our daughter into the world in June of 2011. June is a popular and amazing month for us. Keith and I have crazy families that you'll probably read about from time to time, but I'll try to keep that to a minimum.

So, there you have it, to an extent. I'll try to update semi-regularly, but don't count on it...